A Cup of Tea

I had a nice long talk with Makaela today, catching up on the latest happenings at college and in her friend group. Her weekend included a Christmas cookie baking event – she’s so cool – so proud of her I am. It’s such a pleasure to talk with her – she’s an awesome kid – always listening, supporting, encouraging, loving – if you know Makaela, you understand.

One way or another, our conversations always include Autumn – sometimes laughing, sometimes crying as we talk. In our conversation, I described the following…

Life is like a garden. In 1997, when Autumn and I started dating, we started our garden of life. Getting married, having a baby, finishing school, moving and starting a new job….like planting trees and flowers in our garden. Time went on, there was another baby, home schooling started, we moved overseas, learned a new language…like building a beautiful white picket fence around the garden, all the while the trees, plants, flowers and shrubs are growing and becoming stronger. Then, 2009 rolls around, a grand mal seizure reveals a brain tumor…suddenly the garden feels less safe and beautiful. Fast forward 13 years full of ups and down, culminating in the death of the one you love \ my person….the garden is a baren wasteland as the last two years have literarily destroyed all of the life that once was. What’s left now, but to pick up the pieces and start a new garden…replanting a tulip here, a small shrub there, attempting to find pieces to build a future fence, hoping beyond hope that one day it will again be beautiful.

Today is day 287. I had enough courage in my heart tonight to open the cupboard, grab one of Autumn’s favorite boxes of tea, and steep a hot cup before turning in. Progress! There are still tears most days.

Love and hugs!

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