One way or another, our conversations always include Autumn – sometimes laughing, sometimes crying as we talk. In our conversation, I described the following…
Life is like a garden. In 1997, when Autumn and I started dating, we started our garden of life. Getting married, having a baby, finishing school, moving and starting a new job….like planting trees and flowers in our garden. Time went on, there was another baby, home schooling started, we moved overseas, learned a new language…like building a beautiful white picket fence around the garden, all the while the trees, plants, flowers and shrubs are growing and becoming stronger. Then, 2009 rolls around, a grand mal seizure reveals a brain tumor…suddenly the garden feels less safe and beautiful. Fast forward 13 years full of ups and down, culminating in the death of the one you love \ my person….the garden is a baren wasteland as the last two years have literarily destroyed all of the life that once was. What’s left now, but to pick up the pieces and start a new garden…replanting a tulip here, a small shrub there, attempting to find pieces to build a future fence, hoping beyond hope that one day it will again be beautiful.
Today is day 287. I had enough courage in my heart tonight to open the cupboard, grab one of Autumn’s favorite boxes of tea, and steep a hot cup before turning in. Progress! There are still tears most days.
Love and hugs!